No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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