I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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