After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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