I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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