My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
