oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
