last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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