So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize