dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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