Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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