Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize