yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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