I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
