so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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