we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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