all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
