My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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