Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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