Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
