she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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