i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
