i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
