I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car