it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
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You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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