my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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