but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I cut my penus on the lid.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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