He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
