Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
