I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize