I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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