K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
