Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize