C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
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I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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