Did you just see the Batmobile???
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
