my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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