Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation