the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
