I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
