You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
