Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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