Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
