The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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