I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
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im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.