they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?