In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.