so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course