my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"