She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice