Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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