In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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