go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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