so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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