My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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