We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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