He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How does it feel to date your dad?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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